1. I am STILL waiting to be discovered. 2. Most of my best stories aren’t even true. 3. I’m a liar, a cheat, and a thief. 4. I chain smoke. 5. I adore cheap mayonnaise. 6. I am secretly proud of my terrible table manners. 7. I haven’t had sex in over a year. Maybe two years. Actually, 6 years. 8. I can’t stop scrolling!!! 9. I just want people to think I’m cool. 10. I am a loser. & I want to tell you all about it. J McLaughlin is a mean, funny, petulant, weird queer old maid obsessed with understanding and unpacking anxiety, ecstasy, true love, dark thoughts, inner peace, death, desire, enlightenment, sex, smoking, drinking, fear, rage, paranoia, guilt, greed, pleasure, failure, egomania, megalomania, & other people. Four out of 5 robots agree: “J McLaughlin’s desperate megalomania will make you feel better about your own problems.”